All This History We've Written
by kerimack
Summary: AU. Kathryn and Sebastian have an arrangement, born from a bond so tight it threatens anyone who attempts to break it *Formerly titled Killer Queen*
1. Prologue

All This History We've Written

Author: Kerimack

Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to Cruel Intentions. I'm simply borrowing a few of the characters and adding a few of my own

Rating: R

Synopsis: AU. Kathryn and Sebastian have an arrangement, born from a bond so tight it threatens anyone who attempts to break it. Formally titled Killer Queen.

* * *

**Prologue**

There never was and there never will be another Kathryn Merteuil.

For this he was grateful and, with slight bemusement, he imagined he wasn't the only one. They all loved her, even those who had cursed her to hell and back and prayed for her demise (which at times included himself), still, they all none the less worshipped her. The queen, the princess, the duchess, the patron saint of the Upper East Side. She was the closest thing to royalty they had and they adored her for it.

Staring out at the five hundred or so guests gathered in front of him, all clad in their designer wear and waiting with baited breath for the queen to emerge, he wondered what they would think of her if they knew the real Kathryn Merteuil. The sometimes cruel, heartless creature that lurked under that beautiful delicate doll-like face, the young woman who was capable of committing the most horrific acts. If they knew that girl would they still love her then? History had taught him the answer was an overwhelming yes. Even the few who knew what she was really capable of, who had seen her true colors remained mesmerized by her. Possibly even more so. Once she had you wrapped around her tiny finger you were never to be untangled from her again. No one knew this better than him.

"Sebastian," she called out from behind him, "What do you think?"

He turned at the sound of his name and found her waiting for him with eager eyes, pleading for his approval. It was something that they rarely sought. A girl as confident as Kathryn didn't need acceptance from anyone but today was different.

Letting his arms cross to his chest he let out a bored sigh and relaxed his features into a look of indifference. This was something he was more than practiced in seeing as he spent a great deal of his time giving off the impression that he didn't give a shit, but now it was proving difficult. He was hard pressed to remember a time he had seen her look as stunning as she did at that moment.

Standing before him in a white, strapless Monique Lhuillier gown she seemed to be practically glowing from the inside out but, he mused, that was to be expected. The white lace veil went unnoticed by him. His eyes were instead fixated on the beautiful, delicate, diamond drop necklace she wore. He had given it to her on her sixteenth birthday.

Sebastian gazed back at her indifferently, trying his best to make his eyes appear vacant all the while the internal conflict within him threatened to implode. "You look…nice," he replied nonchalantly.

He had picked that particular word knowing it would set her off. He wasn't disappointed. Jaw set, her green eyes narrowed menacingly at him as she hissed, "Nice! The flowers look nice, my grandmother looks nice, _I_ look fucking amazing!" Kathryn exclaimed with more self-assurance that any girl of twenty seven had a right to. Whirling back around she studied her reflection in the mirror. "Fuck you Valmont, I look gorgeous."

Snickering, he strolled up behind her and asked, "If you don't care to hear my opinion then why ask for it?"

"Habit, I suppose"

"Or just fishing for compliments"

Her eyes met his in the reflection of the mirror and the corners of her lips turned up in that perfect way they tend to do. "Baby, I don't need to fish for anything." Running her hands over the expensive silk she added, "Anyway I don't care what you think."

"Yes you do. Always have, always will."

The confidence radiating from her face melted a little as they both knew he was right. Sebastian allowed her to stew quietly for a few moments before he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her bare shoulder. "You look exquisite," he whispered in her ear.

Kathryn smiled back at him then turned her head so their faces were only millimeters apart. Nuzzling her nose affectionately against his she replied, "No shit."

With a genuine smile Sebastian cupped her face, tenderly stroking her soft cheek with his thumb before bridging the gap between their mouths. His kissed her eagerly, but tenderly, careful to keep his true passion at bay as this most definitely wasn't the time or place for it. Kathryn eagerly returned the kiss, her mouth opening just enough to tease him with what he couldn't have.

Breaking away, she kept her forehead pressed against his and she bit her lip and hummed, "Mmm. We should get going."

"Yes," he agreed this time pulling away first and straightening his jacket. Taking his arm she guided him to the heavy wooden doors he had been standing in front of earlier. Watching as the crowd stood to their feet and smiled back at them expectantly he turned to the girl on his arm one last time. "You really do look perfect."

The bride smiled and clutched his arm just a little tighter. Then, with eyes blazing she looked back at her loyal subjects and remarked, "Here we go."

They marched, arm in arm as that oh-so familiar song played and all Sebastian could think about was the conversation that got him there.

"_Well, what do you think?"_

_He laughed, "Abso-fucking-lutely not."_

_She pouted as she was prone to do when he refused her. "Give me one good reason why not."_

_There were several but he went with the most obvious. "Tiffany would shit twice and die."_

"_You say that like it's a bad thing"_

"_I just got out from underneath her bullshit. I don't need to incur the wrath of the dragon lady just so you can-_

"_Since when are you afraid of my mother? Where are those infamous Valmont balls?"_

"_Have you checked your pockets recently?"_

"_Come on Sebastian"_

"_Still no," he stood firmly making sure to keep his eyes on the book in front of him. "And you can knock that pouting shit off right now. In all our twenty seven years together when has that ever worked?"_

"_Plenty of times," she replied teasingly._

_Looking up at her he met her pleading eyes but refused to be moved. "It's not going to happen."_

_He went back to his book and tried to ignore her as she crawled across the plush carpet and then draped herself across his lap. Pulling the book away she forced him to meet her gaze which was surprisingly intense. "Please Sebastian," she whispered, "there's no one else."_

_This was a lie of course. He could think of several men who could easily fill these particular shoes. Sebastian was about to inform her of this when something stopped him. It was the sudden realization that she was right. It has to be him, only him. He was the only one truly qualified for the job. With a disheartening sigh he caressed her chestnut covered locks and relented. "Okay princess, I'm in."_

He was awoken from his memory when the music stopped and they were suddenly at the end of the line. In more ways than one. As she removed her hand from his arm he slid it inside his own, noticing that she didn't seem the slightest bit nervous or anxious. Kathryn was as poised as ever.

The middle aged minister in front of them smiled kindly and for a brief, fleeting moment Sebastian saw things differently. He saw how things might be or could be if only…

His fantasy was quickly shattered as the tall, handsome man beside him stepped forward and took his soon to be bride's hand. Sebastian waited until the minister asked the question before relinquishing his girl.

"Who gives this woman to this man?"

He didn't let the question register, he wouldn't. Instead he put forth his best indifferent face and swallowed back every emotion he had that was threatening to break though as he handed Kathryn off to the groom.

"I do"

The ceremony went off perfectly, not that this surprised Bianca Merteuil any. Everything Kathryn ever did, every event she'd ever planned always came off without a hitch, from the birthday parties she threw as a child to the charity galas she played host to as an adult. In Kathryn's world there were no wrinkles or bumps, or at least none visible to the untrained eye. Her sister had dedicated her life to the appearance of perfection and from the outside her life appeared to be just that. Of course it was all a big fucking lie

It was a typically elegant affair. Held outside, under the stars at one of their childhood homes, the

Rosemond estate. Two large white tents played host to hundreds of guests and an exquisitely planned meal. In between those twin tents, the dance floor was filled with guests dancing to a full orchestra led by a Michael Buble-esque crooner singing old standards. Over head white twinkle lights lit up the large trees, making everything seem that much more magical. It really did look like something out of a fairy tale or rather a movie. The whole thing looked suspiciously like that old Audrey Hepburn movie her sister watched relentlessly as a kid.

Bianca walked along the edges of the dance floor, mechanically sipping her expensive champagne, her eyes fixated on the bride who at the moment was twirling around the dance floor in her custom made wedding gown, throwing her head back and laughing at something their uncle Richard said as if she didn't have a care in the world. Perhaps she didn't, maybe her beloved sister really did have ice pumping through her veins rather than blood. Could she really be so oblivious to the damage her joyous occasion was causing?

On the other side of the room her new brother in-law was holding court with a gaggle of admirers. She had to hand it to Kathryn, she certainly could pick them or rather _land_ them. Every woman between sixteen and thirty had been trying to get her hands on the new Yankee, who with his smoldering dark eyes, amazing arms and even better ass was by far the hottest guy in professional baseball. It seemed all her sister had to do was smile and purr something suggestive and eight months later she was marrying him.

Johnny Mahoney wasn't a bad guy. Although he wasn't from one of the moneyed families they grew up with, the Mahoney's were middle class and lived up state, but he was sweet and treated her sister like the princess she believed herself to be. He was also smarter than one would guess but hardly a candidate for Mensa. Also the forty million a year he pulled down didn't hurt any.

However, Bianca imagined what her sister liked best about Johnny was that he was so…malleable. His trust in her was so strong she could tell any whopper of a lie and he ate it up. She could just imagine what she told him about Sebastian.

_He's just a childhood friend. He's just my former step-brother. Of course we never slept together. I don't think of him like __**that**_.

Each lie bigger than the last. She wondered how Johnny ignored it or just pretended not to see how they were always touching each other, staring at each other, whispering little secrets in each others ear. Did he just not notice when Kathryn crept away from their bed every other night or refused to sleep with him at all? Did he just not see it? Everyone else did. They always had.

She had half expected Valmont to refuse the minister when he asked who gives this woman to this man. Then again he had never really been prone to dramatic displays, romantic or otherwise. No, he was as cool and collected as always. He never let anyone in and never let anyone see the guy behind the sexual bravado and icy disposition. Even now, as she watched him from across the dance floor casually chatting up two females he looked as bored and unaffected as ever but she knew differently. Bianca knew what it cost him to give her away, even if it really was just a lie. Kathryn was the love of his life, his soul mate, his best friend and every other term that could be used to describe a bond as tight as there's. This was killing him, no matter what he said or how indifferent he acted.

"So you're Kathryn's sister, huh?"

Bianca barely took her eyes off Sebastian long enough to glance at the tall, hunky guy who came up beside her. He was one of Johnny's team mates and one of the groomsman. Steven…something. She vaguely remembered Kathryn telling her she blew him once.

"Yes," she answered coldly hoping he'd fuck off.

"Cool. Younger or older?"

She sighed and gave him the stock answer, "we're twins. Fraternal. I'm older by two minutes."

"No shit," he chuckled lightly as he checked out her ass. "You two look _nothing_ alike."

This was very true; she had been hearing it all her life. In fact the only characteristic the two girls shared physically was their green eyes. For all intents and purposes Bianca should be considered the prettier of the two. She was tall with perfect curves; Kathryn was petite with slightly smaller curves. Bianca's nose was tiny and perfect in comparison to her sisters. The biggest difference however was their hair. While Kathryn's was chestnut brown and cut perfectly half an inch past her shoulder, Bianca's was long, red and beautiful. She knew she was prettier than her sister but no one ever noticed this, Kathryn had seen to it by being smarter, more charming, more successful and more loved. No one noticed what she looked like when she stood beside Princess Kathryn. It was because of this, and a plethora of other reasons that they were never close.

The Neanderthal beside her was still babbling on. "Yeah, my twin cousins are really close. They're the type of twins that look alike. What's that called?"

Bianca looked at him to see if he was serious. Given the blank expression that looked back at her she would say so. "Identical twins," she replied like he was a two year old.

"Yeah, that's it! Anyway, they're super close. Hey, how come you weren't in the wedding party?"

"I wasn't asked," she replied icily.

Not picking up on the tension in her voice he continued on, "Aw, that's too bad. We all went out last night, had a blast! Hey, what's the story with that Sebastian guy and your sister?"

She smiled faintly, "Do you have a couple hours?"

"They seem really tight"

"They're like…_twins_," she explained, exaggeration the last word.

"But I thought you were her twin?" He asked confused.

"Only in blood." Setting down her drink she turned to him and excused herself. "It was nice chatting with you but I see my boyfriend over there." Without another word she left the clueless ball player and made her way across the dance floor to Sebastian.

"Hey baby, enjoying yourself?" Sebastian placed an arm around his girlfriend's shoulders as she strolled up beside him.

"Not really," she sighed as she let her head rest against his shoulder. "Johnny's half-wit friends keep hitting on me."

"Better you than me," he chuckled. "One of them offered to blow me last night."

"Did you take him up on it?"

He ruffled her hair affectionately, "No, but if you're a good girl later Binks, maybe I'll let you."

She tossed him a dirty look not for the demeaning remark but rather the nickname he and Kathryn liked to call her ever since they were kids. Bianca hated it but they used it none the less. "Well it looks like everything turned out perfect for my beloved sister. As usual."

Sebastian chuckled as he lit up a cigarette. "Did you have any doubts?"

"It was a beautiful ceremony," she remarked thoughtfully.

"Still bitter about not being a bridesmaid?"

"No," she replied coolly but he knew other wise. They had known each other too long and too well. Valmont stared her down until she at last sighed and admitted, "I just thought she would… I don't know change…"

"Who, Kathryn? Never"

"You wouldn't have it any other way, would you?"

It was an odd comment and he could most definitely hear the accusation in it. Sometimes he wondered just how much Bianca knew about them. More than she probably should, that was for sure. At times, like right now when she was staring so intently at him, he regretted taking up with Bianca at all. Maybe he should have stuck with his playboy ways but then again…he would hate to have to part with the memory of Kathryn's face when she found out they were seeing each other. That made everything worth it.

"Kathryn is Kathryn, Binks you should know that better than anyone. She will change for no one."

"And the world loves her for it," she remarked bitterly.

Sebastian didn't hear her however as his gaze was transfixed on the beautiful creature in white making her way over to them with a triumphant smile. "Enjoying my wedding?"

"No," the couple remarked in unison.

Kathryn smirked as she removed the cigarette from between Sebastian's fingers and brought it to her mouth. "Careful," he warned eyeing the groom across the room, "Don't want captain America seeing all your dirty little habits before the honeymoon gets under way."

"What the fuck do I care? We're married and unless he wants to lose half that forty million a year in a nice, messy, divorce he damn well better let me do whatever I want."

"Or whom," Bianca piped in.

Turning to her sister with a sly grin, Kathryn remarked, "Binks, you look lovely. What an interesting shade of…green."

Sebastian watched as his girlfriend ran a hand over the silk fabric of her dress. She really did look lovely but Bianca looked down at the garment unsure. Sebastian shot Kathryn a look. She always knew exactly what to say to push her sister's buttons. It only seemed lately she had begun doing it more and more.

"Thank you Kathryn," she replied flatly.

"And you look," she addressed Valmont with a knowing grin, "Well I don't want to say beautiful. I'd hate to encourage him," Kathryn added teasingly to her sister.

"Since when?" The redhead volleyed back.

She ignored the jab from her sister and wrapped an arm around his neck. Leaning forward she placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Their eyes met and as it always seemed to happen the rest of the world melted away when she spoke in that familiar conspirator whisper of theirs. "Thanks for today."

Sebastian simply nodded then kissed her forehead. "Of course."

Kathryn smiled and rested her chin on the top of his shoulder as he hugged her to him all the while ignoring the look his date was giving him. For once she didn't look pissed but something else was going on with her. "Mother is still fuming that you let Sebastian give you away," Bianca informed her.

Pulling away from him she spat, "_Mother_ can go fuck herself for all I care. From now on I'm done with her."

The two girls had always had very different relationships with their mother Tiffany Merteuil, the queen bee of the society set. From childhood it was quickly decided all her energies would be put into making Kathryn into the best debutante she could be while practically ignoring the fact that she had another daughter. Thus, Bianca spent all her time doing anything to gain some affection or attention from her mother while Kathryn, ever since she could breath, did everything in her power to piss her mother off. Of course she did become the best debutante she could be but she did it her way, on her terms. All of this only helped to widen the gap between the sisters.

Obviously eager to end the discussion Kathryn asked, "Why aren't you two dancing?"

"I wasn't asked," Bianca quipped. "Why don't you two dance? I should go talk with Aunt Beatrice anyway."

With that she kissed Sebastian on the cheek and disappeared through the crowd. Kathryn eyed her sisters retreating form suspiciously. "She's acting odder than normal. She never leaves me alone with you."

"Maybe she's starting to trust you," he mused.

"Then she's even stupider than I thought." Tossing the cigarette away she took his hands and pulled him towards the dance floor. "Come on, dance with me."

"Oh, the groom will love that."

Kathryn giggled seductively against his ear in that way that caused his spin to tingle and his cock to twitch. "Fuck the groom. I want you."

Rolling his eyes, trying so hard to appear indifferent, he sighed and led her to the dance floor. "Okay you little bitch, let's go." As they came together, wrapping their arms around each other and danced easily to the slow, romantic song playing. Sebastian laughed, "You are aware at this rate you're going to be divorced by Thanksgiving."

"Well I'm holding out until at least Christmas," she joked as she let her fingers play with his soft blond hair. "Who do you think I should marry next? I'm thinking someone arty. A play write perhaps?"

"Easy Marilyn, you're still on husband number one."

She smiled back but then her face grew suddenly serious. Leaning even closer she whispered in his ear, "It won't last you know. Johnny's nice but he's not…"

"I know," he sighed holding her closer, the dull ache inside of him threatening to break through.

"You know why I married him?"

"Yes and I accept it"

A long silence fell between them. As they danced he looked out at the crowd and saw the groom glaring at him while two guests gushed adoringly at him. "He really hates me doesn't he?"

"Johnny doesn't hate anybody but yes, he really does."

"Good"

Kathryn met his eyes and grinned. "So are you going to ask to kiss the bride?"

"No I'd rather fuck her," he replied bluntly staring back at her unapologetically.

She didn't seem surprised in the least by his declaration. Then again she shouldn't be at this point. "That's really not appropriate," she replied coyly. "This is after all my wedding."

"Fuck appropriate. I want to screw your brains out."

Leaning forward Kathryn whispered in his ear, "Then you better meet me upstairs in **our** room in thirty minutes."

Slowly, she disentangled herself from him and pulled away, the whole time her eyes never leaving his. When at last Sebastian was forced to let go he watched the bride retreat to her husband who she greeted with a kiss and a smile. He returned it not realizing that his blushing bride just arranged to cheat on him an hour after the ceremony.

Sebastian was about to head to the bar, where he would stay for the remaining thirty minutes when something caught his attention in one of the white tents. It was a flash of familiar blond hair. He flinched and it was gone. Looking around the party frantically he wondered if he just saw what he thought he saw. After a moment he told himself it couldn't be. His mind was playing tricks on him. That or it was a ghost.

Forty minutes later Sebastian laid on the giant king sized bed, sipping bourbon, waiting for his girl to arrive. As was typical she was late. Relaxing his eyes he listened to the music floating in through the open balcony doors that over looked the party below. He wondered what lie Kathryn was weaving to her beloved this time about where she was running off to. The store, her mother's, Indonesia. He grinned at that last one, recalling the memory of their time in Paris while she was suppose to be making wedding plans.

She was married.

His beloved Kathryn now belonged to another. Well that wasn't entirely accurate. As she was fond of saying, she belonged to know one. However, they both knew this to be untrue. She belonged to him, as he belonged to her. Always had, always will no matter how many well-meaning but completely inept boy toy's she married. Sebastian told himself this but at the same time he couldn't let go of that nagging ache in his gut that said something was changing, that he was in some way losing her.

He was awaken from his maudlin thoughts by the sound of the heavy wood door being thrown open and Kathryn rushing inside, the material of her wedding gown swishing across the floor as she entered. Closing the door quickly behind her he listened as she caught her breath having likely dashed up the three floors to meet him. Not bothering to get up, Sebastian simply picked up his head and greeted her, "You're late."

"I couldn't get away," she sighed. "John's decrepit mother wouldn't shut up. She kept clawing at my arm, trying to get me to agree to come to their farm in Saratoga." Kicking off her shoes Kathryn spat nastily, "Yeah, that's just what I need. A weekend alone with John and his creepy, in-bread family, in the middle of nowhere. I'd sooner shop at Wal-Mart."

"Spend a weekend with them and you probably will."

"She keeps asking me when to expect grandchildren"

"Did you tell her to look for the seven signs of the apocalypse?"

She didn't seem to hear him as she ranted on, "Me? With children! Can you imagine anything more hideous? If that crazy bitch thinks I'm going to give up my eight figure a year job, just so I can play Stepford wife to her son and a bunch of brats she's in for a big fucking surprise! She may be permanently stuck in the fifties, as evidenced by her clothes, but I'm going to be damned if she tries to drag me into that bullshit."

"Kathryn"

"I mean what the fuck?!"

"KATHYRN!" he yelled getting her attention. Her eyes went wide at his tone and she stopped rambling. Finishing off his drink he reminded her, "You picked him."

"Sorry"

"Now as interested as I am in hearing about the mistake you just married and your won-der-ful life together I would much rather do what we came up hear to do, namely me fucking that perfect ass of yours into the mattress."

A slow seductive smile crept onto her lips as she started to make her way towards him. Sebastian held up his hand, "Hold it. Take it off first." When she looked back at him puzzled he informed her, "There are some low's even I won't stoop to including fucking a woman in her wedding dress. Get rid of it."

Kathryn unzipped the dress and slowly pealed it from her body revealing a white, lace bustier and matching panties. "Tell me Valmont, does my dear sister know about your hatred of all things matrimonial?"

Looking up at the ceiling he sighed, "She met my dearly departed parents so I'm sure she can connect the dots."

Kathryn chuckled dryly as she kicked the garment out from underneath her feet carelessly and crawled onto the bed with him. Straddling him she asked, "Are you drunk?"

"Not yet"

"Too bad I like fucking you when you're drunk"

"You like taking advantage of me"

"That too," she laughed as she leaned over and captured his lips in an open mouthed kiss. Kathryn slowly unbuttoned his shirt. "Can I take advantage of you now?"

Not waiting for an answer he watched as she kissed down his neck and slowly made her way down his chest, her tongue moving playfully against his skin and occasionally nipping his flesh. Sebastian closed his eyes and tried to get lost in the sensations of her mouth but he couldn't seem to let that nagging feeling go. Kathryn removed his belt and undid his pants. Reaching into his pants she removed his swollen cock and pumped it in her tight, tiny fist. He groaned, not because of her ministrations however, but because of the cold metal of her newly planted ring was rubbing up against him, reminding him that she wasn't completely his anymore.

"Stop, stop it," he muttered as he pushed her hands away and pulled her back up to him.

Kathryn's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion making her appear younger than her twenty seven years. "Since when do you turn down getting your dick sucked?"

He didn't say anything and instead intertwined his fingers in her. He rubbed the silver band with his thumb, and she looked down, seemingly noticing it for the first time. "Oh, do you want me to take it off?"

"Why? It's a part of you now."

"It doesn't change anything"

Sebastian let out a humorless chuckle, "Your husband might disagree."

Kathryn pulled herself up on her elbows, her beautiful face suddenly very serious. In a voice barely above a whisper she asked, "I'm not going to lose you am I?"

He was momentarily surprised over the question. They'd known each other since they were in diapers and in all that time they rarely if ever acknowledged anything that could be described as genuine emotion. They wouldn't allow themselves. With them it was always, actions speak louder than words. Still, for once he answered her not with a quick retort or quip. He simply replied, "Never."

Taking her by the back of the head he pulled her into an intense, demanding kiss. Kathryn let out a surprise moan as he pushed her onto her back forcefully and mounted her. They broke the kiss and Sebastian didn't take his eyes of her face as he ran his hand down her chest and began to roughly yank of the lace bodice that was confining her breasts.

_Pop, Pop, Pop _

The buttons flew and with each one she flinched and that look of lust in her eyes deepened. He smirked as he saw her gripping the cream colored sheets out of the corner of his eye. Once she was exposed he teasingly caressed her areolas with her finger tips which caused her breathing to become ragged.

"Stop it," she hissed.

Valmont simply grinned and continued on with his slow teasing all the while considering the many times they'd done this. He should have gotten bored with this by now, with _her_, but he never had. He had been fucking her since he was fifteen years old and she still made him harder and turned him on more than any woman since. Part of him hated her for it.

Still not breaking her gaze he bent down and flicked his tongue against her hard nipple. She groaned and began to squirm underneath him as he teasingly tongued her tit.. Sebastian moved his mouth to the top of her breast and bit down causing her to let out a shriek of surprise.

"Bastard!"

"A little something for Johnny to remember me by on his wedding night," he chuckled.

"You little prick"

"Oh princess, there's nothing little about it." As if to prove it he yanked down his pants the rest of the way and stroked his sizeable hard-on.

Reaching forward Kathryn replaced his hand with her own. "But is it rideable?"

"One way to find out"

This time she pushed him back forcefully and straddled him. Foregoing the foreplay, she didn't even bother to remove her panties; she simply moved the flimsy fabric to the side and pushed him inside of her. Sebastian titled his head back and groaned as he entered the closest place to home he had ever known. "Fuck…Kathrynnn…," he groaned as she began to slowly ride him at a deliberately slow pace, no doubt trying to pay him back for teasing her earlier.

His eyes shut and he began to get lost in the familiar sensation of being buried inside of her. Kathryn bent forward and licked his neck. "Hey handsome," she whispered, "Open your eyes and look at me when I fuck you."

He chuckled darkly as he drew her mouth back to his. They kissed wantonly while Kathryn began to ride him faster, shoving her pelvis against his, as if saying _harder, deeper, more_. Sebastian thrust his hips up to meet hers and they fell into a frantic rhythm, completely ignoring the outside world including that ever so present annoying music coming from the party below.

In the back of his head Sebastian wished it could be like this forever. Just them, in their own private little world, where nothing and no one could touch them. It was so easy when they were children and the only thing to interfere was her nagging sister or their dysfunctional parents. Now it seemed that with every passing year they were getting farther and farther away from that world.

If he just closed his eyes and kissed her he could pretend, even if it was just for a little while, that they were still in that place and nothing had changed. No one could take her away from him.

However, it wasn't to be as reality had a way of setting in when you least expect it. One minute he could feel her on the brink of orgasm, her inner walls tightening around him the next Kathryn was screaming and not in the throws of ecstasy kind of way. Her lithe body suddenly went rigid as she let out a scream one only usually hears in cheesy horror films.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sebastian bolted upright placing a protective arm around her. "What! What's wrong?"

She said nothing; her eyes were fixated on something behind him. He whirled around and nearly shrieked himself. Standing but a few feet away, on the edge of the balcony doors was the ghost he thought he saw earlier.

"Annette?" he chocked in a hoarse whisper.

The petite blond, who was wearing a plain white dress and messy hair, didn't even seem to acknowledge him. Her eyes which were brimming with tears were transfixed on Kathryn. The look on face wasn't of someone who was of sound mind and body. He tightened his grip on the brunet in his lap.

Sebastian could barely process what he was seeing. "A-Annette, what are you doing here? I thought you were-

"No anymore," she spat.

"How the hell did you get in here? Have you been watching us the whole time!" Kathryn demanded now sounding more angry that scared.

"This is _your_ room isn't it? The one you always hide in."

"What are you doing here?" Sebastian asked calmly

"I wanted to see you," she said staring intently at Kathryn.

"Well you saw me now get the fuck out"

The blond shook her head and for the first time Sebastian noticed she was holding something behind her back. "What are you doing with him?"

Kathryn shook her head in frustration, "What does it look like we're doing?"

"Kathryn," Sebastian said tensely when he realized just what it was that Annette was holding.

Pulling away from him she got off the bed and threw his shirt over her naked upper half. "Oh don't tell me you're still defending her Valmont? The crazy bitch breaks in here and-

"Kathryn!"

"What!"

The brunette's eyes went wide as she saw the gun in Annette's hand. The sound of the safety coming off the gun suddenly reverberated throughout the room. Sebastian turned to find the blond pointing a gun in Kathryn's direction. Rising up from the bed slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements that would upset her, he stood in front of Kathryn. "Annette, what are you doing? Give me the gun."

"Fuck you Sebastian," she spat with surprising venom. Annette, the Annette he knew anyway never spoke so harshly or so vulgarly. "This has nothing to do with you."

"Put it down Annette"

"No! Go away!"

This time Kathryn pushed him out of the way and strode forward purposefully. "You want to shoot me you worthless bitch then go for it. You leave him the fuck alone."

A look of realization seemed to come over Annette as she slowly lowered the gun. In a small broken voice she chocked, "How could you do this? I-I thought…"

"You thought wrong," Kathryn replied simply.

Nodding, Annette slowly began to back out onto the open balcony. Sebastian moved back in front of Kathryn, fearful of what she might be planning. A second before he heard the gun go off he realized what she intended to do. By that time it was too late to reach her.

Standing with her back to the metal railing Annette placed the gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger. The force of the bullet sent her over the railing and crashing with a loud, thump to the ground below. Kathryn let out another shriek of horror or possibly surprise and for a moment Sebastian felt as if his heart stopped. He dashed to the balcony and looked over as if expecting Annette to be there in one piece. The gruesome sight that greeted him however said over wise. Looking away he could feel the bile threatening to rise up in his throat as he registered that the music from the reception had finally stopped and guests were starting to make their way towards them.

Out of the corner of his eye Sebastian noticed a piece of wrinkled paper. He scooped it up and as he read it his stomach wrenched even more.

_I love you, I'm sorry_

_- Annette_

Kathryn had slowly made her way out onto the balcony. "What is it?" she whispered.

After reading it a second time he rose to his feet and handed it to her. "It's for you"

- to be continued (Please Review)


	2. Security Blankets

All This History We've Written

* * *

**Part I : Origins**

"_. . . the companions of our childhood always possess a certain power over our minds which hardly any later friend can obtain_"

– Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

* * *

**Security Blankets**

For as long as Kathryn could remember, Sebastian Valmont had been a part of her life. Sometimes she wondered how things might have been different had they not been so close or even met at all. Certainly she would not be the same person she is today. Had it not been for Sebastian she just might have turned into that perfectly molded, air head debutante her mother so desperately wanted her to be. She might have had a closer relationship with Bianca. She might have even been able to have a normal, committed relationship with a man. One thing is for certain; her life would have been much _simpler_.

For that fact alone she was endlessly grateful that Sebastian was indeed a part of her life.

Still, their life together wasn't always so complicated. Before Annette, before Johnny, Eve, David and all their other conquests, before the deaths, before their…fallout, before everything went to shit things had been simple. Their world was black and white with very little grey to get in the way. It was just them against the world. But everyone has to grow up sometimes and even them, who saw themselves as being above everything and everyone, weren't immune. Some things you just can't avoid no matter how hard you try.

Kathryn didn't recall their first meeting, but then again she wasn't even one when it happened. Sebastian's Aunt Helen would later tell them about the summer their family's stayed at her estate on the island. She described the afternoons their mothers (which Kathryn interpreted to mean their _nannies_, as she had no recollection of her mother ever holding her, let alone playing with her) had put them in the sand box together. Of course Bianca was there too but for whatever reason it had been Kathryn he had latched on to. They had been inseparable that whole afternoon.

"_And when your parents tried to pull you apart you cried and cried…"_

"_Maybe I was just hungry. Did anyone think of that?" Seven year old Sebastian grumbled to his aunt as she relayed the story for the hundredth time._

"_I don't think so dear. Every time we tried to separate the two of you, both of you would scream and carry on. My, your poor parents must have gone through a dozen nannies each."_

_The pair in question smiled evilly at each other as they sat side by side in the bed, likely recalling all the hell they had given their caregivers in the past. Underneath the covers they locked fingers._

"_I still think you're exaggerating Aunt Helen"_

"_Oh? Need I remind you of your first word young man?"_

Sebastian's first word had been appropriately enough, "Kat". The Valmont's had an old cat, Tilly, for years but Edward and Annabelle had known that wasn't the _Kat_ he was referring to. While his father found this bond between the children strange, his mother found it charming.

On the other hand Kathryn's first word was "chun". No one knew what the hell that was supposed to mean. At first Tiffany thought she might have been referring to their former Korean chauffer but he had only been employed by the Merteuil's for a few months so surely it couldn't be that. Kathryn continued to scream and cry "chun" until her father, who normally barely acknowledged her pointed out, "She's trying to pronounce that Valmont boy's name."

It might have been at this point that Tiffany Merteuil went from viewing Sebastian as a charming playmate to a viable threat to her relationship with her daughter. While the beautiful older woman might not have been mother of the year she did love her daughter in her own way and was desperate to be close to her. With Kathryn however this became impossible. She resisted her mother every step of the way. Any attempts at a relationship were rebuffed. Tiffany would try to touch her and Kathryn squirmed, she'd try to make conversation and the child would ignore her. It was as if at some point Kathryn had decided to shut her heart off to anyone that wasn't Sebastian.

Tiffany would then have to settle for Bianca. Somehow, over the years she had become the substitute daughter, the spare if you would. Kathryn refused her so their mother turned to her whenever she had an itch to bond with her daughter and she was shut down by her first choice. However, this attention was always half-hearted and even at an early age Bianca could see it. Kathryn was always the first choice and part of her blamed Sebastian for this. If what Helen said was true, he chose Kathryn and maybe because of this everyone followed suit. There must be something special about this girl if even a toddler can sense it.

If it had been up to Tiffany or even Bianca at that point the relationship between the two would have come to and end. Unfortunately for them what Kathryn wanted Kathryn got. From an early age whenever she was refused something or as often the case someone, she would throw a temper tantrum the likes of which was rarely seen even in the most pampered of children. She could scream, oh could she scream, not to mention break things.

Her mother one year refused to go to the Rosemond estate and Kathryn broke her eighteen century mink vase. When she told her daughter Sebastian couldn't come to their Christmas party she tossed her diamond tennis bracelet down the garbage disposal. Tiffany put her foot down on the young boy coming to Greece with them on their family vacation so Kathryn locked the nanny in the wine cellar and refused to tell them where she was until they agreed to take Sebastian.

Needless to say the Merteuil's spent every summer at the Rosemond estate and Sebastian attended every party and every vacation with them. He was like Kathryn security blanket. Most children carted around a piece of baby blanket or a stuffed toy, for her it was a blond curly haired boy with blue eyes and pouty lips.

Kathryn, who had always found her mother to be annoying and suffocating and her twin sister a virtual stranger and her father non-existent, Sebastian was the closest thing to security and love she had ever known.

They continued on with their idyllic childhood, spending summer's in the country and their winters in the city where they attended the same grammar school (Kathryn of course refused the same sex school her mother tried to put her in) and went on holidays together. All the while Bianca would tag along and try to be part of their world but she was continually rebuffed.

"_Well I'm coming too"_

_Kathryn, who even at the tender age of seven, had an icy stare that could make any adult shiver and take a step back. She sent one such glance in her sister's direction. "No, you're not"_

"_But mother said you have to bring me along"_

_This brought a curt laugh. "Mother is not the boss of me now go play with Leticia and leave us alone."_

"_Sebastian, can I come?"_

_The beautiful young boy had always been slightly more pleasant to her than her sister but not in this instance. "Sorry Binks but we can't risk it"_

"_Risk what?"_

"_Risk you opening your big stupid mouth to mother like always," Kathryn huffed impatiently. "Now get lost, this is __**our**__ thing. You're not invited"_

_Bianca was never invited on one of their adventures so she did what her sister predicted and went to tell their mother. _

Everything changed for the children when they turned eight thanks to an event that would permanently scar forever one half of the amazing duo.

_- to be continued _


	3. Valmont Family Tragedy

All This History We've Written

* * *

**Valmont Family Tragedy**

Sebastian had a much different family life than that of his best friend. In his family he was the center of no one's universe. He was the product of a lecherous alcoholic and somewhat troubled, desperate woman. His very creation had been a ploy on his mother's part to keep his wandering father at her side. She had mistakenly thought it would bring them closer but instead it only pushed them farther apart as Edward had little interest in his wife before she acquired a screaming infant and an additional twenty pounds. Their marriage was most definitely not a match made in heaven and it was the chief reason their son would later grow up to shun anything remotely connected to marriage and commitment.

To the outside world the Valmont's seemed the very picture of the perfect Upper East Side family. The Valmont's after all came from old money and when it came to finances Edward never had a bad year. The beautiful Annabelle was the envy of the society women, with her delicate features and golden hair and of course everyone hoped their children would be as handsome and well spoken as Sebastian. This is what was said in public when their name was brought up but behind closed doors it was another story all together as the Valmont's were easily the most gossiped family amongst the inner circle. Had it not been for Edwards sister Helen they would have been completely disgraced.

"_Did you hear? She caught him again…guess how old this one was? 16!"_

"_My god, has that man no shame?! Poor Annabelle…"_

"_Yes the poor dear. I'm afraid there aren't enough Valium and Xanax in the Western hemisphere to make her forget this little indiscretion"_

"_Sophie!"_

"_Oh please, the way that woman pops pills it's amazing she's not comatose and did you see how much she drank at Daphne's party the other night?!"_

"_Can you blame her? With a husband like Edward and that terror of a son. Did you hear what that little monster did to Georgina 's prized roses? Poured bleach over the entire garden, killed everything. Evil little bastard, always running around doing whatever he pleases. Absolutely no discipline."_

"_And always with that lovely little Merteuil girl…"_

"_Odd"_

"_Very"_

While Annabelle loved her son she was far too self involved and locked away in her own self-pity to pay much attention him. Outside from the occasional lecture or smack across the head, Sebastian's relationship with his father was non-existent. He was a mere afterthought to his parents so he spent a great deal of time acting out doing anything and everything to get a rise out of them.

All of this came to a head two days after Sebastian's ninth birthday when he came home from school to find his mother passed out on her bed, a small pharmacy of pills on the bedside table. This was hardly the first time he found her like this but it was the first time her skin was that odd shade of blue and it was the first time she didn't respond when he tried to wake her up.

Sebastian was a smart boy. He read Proust and Nietzsche, spoke several different languages, and could hold his own on any topic any adult cared to converse with him on but for some reason he wouldn't let himself comprehend this. He knew as he shook her and screamed at his mother to wake up that she was dead but that small part of his, that little boy side he tried so desperately hard to keep hidden, refused to believe it and clung on to the pathetic hope that she was only sleeping.

Eventually one of the maids arrived, letting out a shriek of horror upon witnessing his mother's body. She called for an ambulance then ushered the nanny in to pull Sebastian away. He wouldn't leave his mother and ignored them when they told him she was 'gone'. He bit at their hands that tried to pry him away and screamed at them how sorry they would be when his father got home and fired all of them for telling him his mother was dead. Even when the paramedics arrived and placed his delicate mother in that big, ominous black bag, he refused to let the reality of the situation sink in.

_Suicide_. That was the word that finally did it for him, that was the word that made him run. He heard the doctor whisper it to nanny Beatrice and in that instance he knew. Sebastian ran.

He went to the only place his could think of. The only place that ever felt remotely like home. He went to her.

Kathryn has been practicing a particularly difficult Chopin piece on the piano when she looked up to find Sebastian standing solemnly a few feet away. Looking back, she would always recall this moment when she was really angry with him or swore she would hate him forever for being such a heartless bastard. She would remember that day in the drawing room and recall the first time she saw Valmont's heart break.

"What's wrong?" Kathryn rose slowly from her seat.

Sebastian shook his head, visibly fighting tears. "She's gone"

"Who?"

"My mom"

Before she could question him further she heard the approach of the parental units, talking in hushed, angry whispers. Quickly she grabbed his hand and pulled him soundlessly back to her bedroom. As she closed the door as delicately as possible Sebastian crawled into her bed and burrowed himself in.

Standing against the door she bit at the side of her lip, not sure how to approach this situation. At eight she wasn't a girl who had any sort of experience comforting or even showing kindness towards people. She was the girl who flushed her goldfish down the garbage disposal, _alive_, because they became a nuisance. She pinched her sister because she liked he hear her scream. She was **not **a girl who offered comfort and condolences.

Watching her best friend looking as if the world had just caved in, she was at a loss. Still, she had to do something. Kathryn gently approached him. "Sebastian? What happened, were did she go?"

He didn't say anything for what felt like an eternity until finally it came. "She's dead. I found her. On the floor, with all her pills…" he choked on the last word as a sob threatened to escape. "She was blue."

Sebastian buried his face in her satin pillow and Kathryn kneeled down on the bed beside him. She reached out to touch him but quickly retracted her hand. It felt odd and unnatural. As her friend cried quietly she thought about the scene he just described. She couldn't imagine seeing a dead body, let alone her own mother. Kathryn disliked Tiffany immensely but the though of finding her like that made her ill.

The sudden loud knocking on her bedroom door woke them from their reprieve. "Kathryn? Kathryn are you in there? Is Sebastian with you?" Her mother's voice sounding oddly panicked floated into the room as she urgently tried to push open the locked door. "Kathryn, Mr. Valmont is here. He needs to take Sebastian home now."

"No!" Sebastian whispered to her harshly as he bolted up. "No, I'm not going anywhere…with him."

He grasped her arm as his face pleaded with her. Kathryn nodded in understanding. "Don't worry I'll take care of it."

She might not be able to hug him, or offer the perfect sentiment but this she could do. Kathryn could always be counted on to get what she wanted. Striding purposely forward, shoulders arched she threw open the door and stepped into the hallway. Closing the door behind her she stood in front of it and regarded the adults in front of her with a haughty, "what?"

"Kathryn," she mother approached her tentatively, "I'm not sure you know what happened to-"

"I know what happened," she snapped as she leveled an icy glare at Edward Valmont. "Sebastian is staying here."

"Sweetheart, now is not the time to-"

She cut off her father's even reply. "He doesn't want to go with you. He's staying with me"

Edward let out an exhausted sigh. She remembered how tired he looked to her. He always looked so calm and collected. The man before her appeared ragged, worn down, and older somehow. Yet, even her eight year old self couldn't muster any sympathy for him. Edward Valmont was a bastard through and through. She had been regaled with horror stories from Sebastian and witnessed enough of him in action to know the events of that day, inadvertently or not, were all his fault.

Kathryn locked eyes with the broken man and stared him down, daring him to argue with her. She was still be a child but she wasn't to be trifled with. Sebastian might be his son but he had always belonged to her. She had more claim on him than anyone.

Her parents tried to make her listen but she paid them no mind, as per usual. Finally Edward let out a weary sigh, "perhaps it's best he stay here for a little while. Going back home…it might be too upsetting right now."

"Edward, are you sure?"

"Yes, yes, it's fine. Let the boy be."

As the eldest Valmont retreated, her father following behind with a comforting pat on the shoulder her mother stayed put. "Now Kathryn, you know Sebastian can't stay here forever. Eventually he has to go home…with his real family."

Kathryn was tempted to tell her she was his _real _family but she simply replied, "Goodbye mother". She shut the door in her face before she could say any thing more.

Retreating into the dark, quiet room she climbed back into bed to find Sebastian staring up at the ceiling. "They're gone. I told them you're not going anywhere." Smiling softly she added lightly, "I think your father's a little afraid of me."

He didn't reply. He still didn't look at her.

Sighing she tried again. "Maybe, if you feel like it, we can go to the museum tomorrow." Kathryn hated the museum. Sebastian loved it.

Once again he didn't reply. That nervous twitter in her stomach happened again. She didn't know how to do this. She didn't know how to talk to him like this.

For a brief moment she cursed Annabelle Valmont. She had never thought much of Sebastian's mother. She always seemed so sad and pathetic, laying around in bed all day, barely acknowledging her son's presence. Sebastian would never be the same again and it was all that self involved bitch's fault.

She tried again. "Sebastian…"

Her bedroom door suddenly opened and her sister poked her head in. "Kathryn, what's going on? Why is Mr. Valmont here?"

Kathryn glared icily at the benign of her existence. With her stupid, wild, red hair and annoying tendency to suddenly appear when she least wanted to see her, Bianca could on any given day be the person Kathryn despised most in the world. "Get lost freak!"

As was so often the case she ignored her twin sister and stepped into the room, examining the near comatose boy in her bed. "What's wrong with Sebastian?"

"Nothing, go away"

"He looks sick. Are you sick Sebastian?"

"No, he's just playing," she hissed irritably as she tried to shoo her out the door. "Now get out of here or else I'm going to tell mother that you still wet the bed and she'll make you go back to Dr. McNamara."

Her pale skin blushed in shame as she stuttered, "y-you wouldn't"

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?"

Knowing full well that her sister didn't bluff Bianca backed out of the room. When the door clicked shut, Sebastian burst out laughing. "She does _not _still wet the bed!"

Thrilled for this moment of normalcy, she joined in his laughter. "Sure she does…when I place her hand in warm water when she's sleeping."

"You're a bad sister"

"I can't help it. I was _meant _to be an only child." Kathryn finally let out that breath she had been holding in ever since he appeared before her and laid down beside him.

Sebastian's laughter subsided and he once again became subdued. They fell into a long, comfortable silence. "My father's leaving," she blurted out unexpectedly.

He looked over at her curiously. "So? It's not the first time. He always comes back."

"Not this time." She stared into space recalling the phone call she listened in on last week. "I heard them talking. He bought a house on the coast. He's leaving her at the end of summer. He's leaving us."

Sebastian's index finger gently traced the inside of her palm as he watched her solemnly. "Fuck'em. You don't need him. You never have."

Kathryn could feel the hot sting of tears prick at the corner of her eye but she refused to let them fall. "You don't need her and you don't need him. You have me."

"Always"

Sebastian locked his finger around hers. Soon after they fell into a deep peaceful sleep.

Of course her mother was right. She couldn't keep him locked in there with her forever. Eventually Sebastian had to go home. After that night however, the pair rarely spent a night of their childhood alone. Against her mother's fervent wishes, Sebastian always found his way back to Kathryn's bed and she rarely fell asleep without him beside her.

Even at eight Kathryn knew that was transpired that night would change things, would change him forever and she was right. In some ways Sebastian's mother's suicide would come to define who he would become. The precocious and innocent boy who had been her childhood playmate was gone but she loved him none the less.

It would be four years before another traumatic event occurred that would rock the sheltered world they created.

- to be continued (Please Review)


	4. The Lackey & the Weirdo

All This History We've Written

Part I: Origins

* * *

**The Lackey & the Weirdo **

"Sebastian? Sebastian where are you?"

Nestled comfortably amongst the silk pillows in the antique sleigh bed, Sebastian pulled his attention away from his book for a moment. He didn't respond to the anxious, hushed whisper of his only friend. Turning back to his novel he counted down silently in his head.

_5...4...3...2..._

He didn't even flinch when the door was thrown open and Kathryn came strutting in, hands on hips, her pretty face pinched in anger. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Well in appears I'm reading," he replied in his best dead panned voice.

"No you're hiding. It's my birthday and you promised! You promised you'd act normal for one day and come to my party, but no instead you're up here hiding like that Anne Frost person-

"Anne Frank," he corrected

"Who gives a fuck? Will you please just come down stairs?"

Sebastian pretended to think about it. "Hmm…no. I'm going to have to pass. I agreed to come to my aunt's house. I never agreed to attend your little soirée with the Manchester sheep. Now if all you're going to do is throw a hissy fit and stomp around like your crazy mother, feel free to rejoin the flock."

"Fine I will."

"Bah, Bah, Bah"

"You know I really despise you sometimes Valmont"

"Boo hoo"

Kathryn turned on her heels fully intending to stomp out and ignore him for the rest of the evening when he called her back. "Oh Kathryn?"

"What is it?"

He gave her his most charmingly obnoxious grin. "Bring me back some cake?"

The birthday girl let out a exasperated shriek as she stomped back over to him, grabbed the pillow out from under him and proceeded to beat him with it. "GOD! Why are you such a fucking freak?!"

Sebastian blocked her assault with his hands before yanking the pillow out of her hand and pulling her down on the bed beside him. He laughed at the frustrated expression on her face as she did her best to straighten out her perfect hair and fix her skirt. Some times he thought he never liked her more than when she was angry. "Better a freak than a lackey," he taunted knowing how that certain word would set her off.

"I am NOT a lackey!"

"Oh I bet Rebecca Carlyle who beg to differ"

"She's my _mentor_," she hissed through gritted teeth annoyed at having this discussion for the umpteenth time, "there's a difference."

Sebastian shook his head as he picked up his book and tried to find where he left off. "Dress it up however you like princess. You might be her favorite right now but you're just another minion."

The anger seemed to seep out of her face and a calm, almost serene smile appeared as she replied mysteriously, "not for long."

He looked up at her curiously but she didn't offer an explanation. Instead she looked back at her oldest friend dissatisfied grimace, annoyed that he let the Armani pants she picked out for him get wrinkled already. "Seriously Valmont, would it kill you to act normal once in awhile?"

"Yes it would," he replied firmly. "Unlike you Kathryn, I have no desire to make everyone love me."

And there it was. The fundamental difference between them. They were so similar is so many ways except for that. Kathryn had an overwhelming ambition to be loved by not just one person, but by everyone. Sebastian on the other hand was fine with just being loved by one. Her.

At twelve years old they had, by appearances, emerged as two very different people. Kathryn was the beautiful, up coming debutante. She was the most popular girl in her grade and was currently working at the feet of the most desired girl in the entire school. She used sweetness and phony naiveté, to mask her deep seated quest for power and everything that came with it. She didn't know what she wanted, in truth, she just knew she wanted **more**.

Then there was Sebastian who at twelve did everything in his power to be as anti-social as possible. He let is blond curly hair grow out at odd angles, he wore boring black kakis (except when Kathryn insisted on dressing him), and he refused contacts instead opting for his thick black rimmed glasses. He also carried a book wherever he went and sneered at anyone who tried to pull him away. Valmont didn't care about fitting it or being loved. He didn't give a shit about what anyone thought about him. He just didn't **care**. Of course he had always been jaded, even before his mother's suicide but it seemed to grow exponentially as he grew older. Something inside him hardened.

However, one thing remained the same and that was his devotion to his oldest playmate. No matter how different they became that never wavered. The same went for Kathryn though she would never admit that to a living soul. Yes, she was part of the popular crowd and growing more adored by the minute but he was still the only person who really mattered to her.

Her friends, of course, found this odd that she still insisted on hanging out with the weird Valmont boy. Kathryn always shrugged off their questions or played if off like she was doing charity when she sometimes skipped lunch with Rebecca and the girls to go and sit with Sebastian under that ancient oak tree he always ate lunch under. Sometimes it seemed this insistence on always having Sebastian around just made her more of a mystery and therefore all the more interesting for it. Rebecca even told her it was one of the first things that made her take an interest in her.

Valmont would never have been invited to a party like this had anyone else been throwing it and it didn't bother him in the least. Kathryn had demanded he come and of course he balked even though it was being held at his own aunt's house. The Merteuil girls had all there birthday parties at the Rosemond estate. It was tradition. Sebastian had yet to miss one much to his chagrin.

Reaching behind him, Sebastian pulled out a cigarette from his hidden pack and lit one up. Kathryn eyed him wearily. "Aunt Helen will have a fit if she finds you smoking in here again."

He looked at her pointedly over the top of his book. "You mean Tiffany will have a fit if she smells smoke of her again. Tsk, tsk. I remember the days when you weren't so afraid of your mother."

"I am NOT afraid of her!"

"Oh yeah?"

Kathryn, recognizing the challenge in his voice, reached over and grabbed the cigarette out of his hands. She brought it to her mouth and stupidly inhaled rather quickly. As she started to sputter and cough, Sebastian laughed and took the cigarette back. "Easy birthday girl, it's not a lollipop."

"Screw you," she managed somewhat pitifully through her coughs.

Regaining her composure she stretched out across the bed, resting her head on her hand. "So I've decided what you should get me for my birthday. Besides black lungs."

"Oh?" He already had her gift, wrapped up in a little blue box, hidden under the bed. He wasn't going to give it to her until the end of the party though.

Kathryn nodded, "Yes I've decided I want you to help me take down Rebecca."

Sebastian rolled his eyes in irritation. "Why would I do that?"

"Because I want it," she responded bluntly. "With Becca out of the way I can move up the social pyramid at Manchester. Besides, do you really need a reason? I thought you hated her?"

"I don't believe hate is a strong enough word. No, I loathe, detest and despise her very existence."

"Then you'll help me"

"No"

"Oh, come on Sebastian! Why not?"

He sighed fixing his glasses, "I have no desire to help you turn into Rebecca Carlyle, the sequel. A two faced, binge drinking , head case." In a slighter softer tone he added, "You're better than that Kathryn. Better than her. Besides," he mocked in a high pitched tone, "I thought she was your mentor?"

"Please," Kathryn huffed. "I'm sick to death of living under her reign. Ordering me around and dictating what I wear and who I socialize with. It's getting old. Fast."

Sebastian studied her curiously. "What brought this on?"

Kathryn avoided his gaze as she thought back to the conversation she had with the older girl just yesterday.

_"I want you to dis-invite Valmont"_

_Kathryn's head shot up in surprise at the request. "Why?"_

_Shrugging her elegant shoulders she replied, "Because he's a loser and he's totally bringing down your rep."_

_"But I always-"_

_"People are starting to talk." Gliding around her powder blue bedroom she explained, "you're always hanging around him. Letting him tag along with us. It's becoming tres tiresome darling. Not to mention the other day when he dumped his juice all over Mel's brand new Channel bag."_

_"She was asking for it," Kathryn muttered under her breath._

_"What was that?"_

_"Nothing. Look I can't not invite Sebastian. He's my oldest friend"_

_Tossing her blond locks over her shoulder she gave Kathryn her best condescending stare. "Well as one of your newest friends I'm telling you he better not be there."_

_"Or what?"_

_Rebecca grinned back menacingly at her, clearly relishing the question. "Would you like to find out?"_

Kathryn's tiny fist clenched in her hand as she remembered that taunting look on her supposed mentor's face. Of course she didn't dis-invite Sebastian. She couldn't, not that it mattered anyway as he stayed hidden upstairs the whole time. Still, Rebecca was bound to find out he was here, thanks to her half wit sister and there would be consequences come Monday morning.

Well she was sick of consequences. She was sick of taking orders. She was sick of Rebecca Carlyle.

"Look you can help me or not. Either way Becca is going down."

Sebastian eyed her curiously. Even though he was always so critical of it, he always admired Kathryn's ambition. He might be fine with being an outcast but he knew Kathryn never would. There was a part of him that was fearful that if she did achieve her ultimate goal, if she did usurp Rebecca, she would eventually leave him behind. That was the real reason he was so reluctant to lend a hand. However he knew Kathryn and he knew it was entirely out of his hands. If she wanted Rebecca gone she would make it happen. One way or another.

Waving his hand dismissively he sighed, "Fine. Okay, I'll help you destroy frosty the ice bitch."

Kathryn's face broke out into a huge grin as she threw herself down on top of Sebastian and hugged him. "Thank you!" She laughed in his ear, "You never say no to me for long."

"That seems to be my curse," he sighed as he patted her shoulder.

The bedroom door was suddenly thrown open and Bianca came rushing in breathlessly, having just dashed up the long staircase. "Kathryn! Kathryn, we're cutting the cake. Mother wants you to come downstairs."

Bolting upright she stared poisonous daggers at her twin, "Don't you knock fuck wit?"

She flinched at her sisters harsh words, which was ridiculous because at this point she should have been use to it. Bianca noticed the slight flush in Kathryn's cheeks and wondered what had caused it. Had she been with any other boy than Sebastian she might have suspected something was going on. Like a few weeks ago when she walked in on her kissing Jeffery Randall in the study. But it was only Sebastian, a boy who Bianca believed to be completely asexual.

Refusing for once to be intimidated she held her head up and spat back, "This is MY party too Kathryn and I don't want to keep our guests waiting because you can't be bothered to come down stairs."

"I'll go down when I'm ready," she hissed back.

"Fine," Bianca replied casually as she turned towards the door, "I'll just go tell Rebecca you're up here with Sebastian."

She stopped abruptly when a pillows hit her in the head. Kneeling at the edge of the bed Kathryn warned, "You better not breath a word of this to anyone."

"Give me one good reason not to"

She expected her sister to issue another threat or blackmail of some sort. Instead she shocked her by offering, "I'll give you those pearl earrings Daddy sent me."

Both Bianca and Sebastian's eyebrows shot up. "D-don't you want them?"

"No they're tacky," Kathryn replied coolly, before adding with a vicious smirk, "they're perfect for you."

Bianca's eyes narrowed in anger but she didn't fire back an insult, wanting instead to get back to the party. "Fine. I'll tell mother you're on the phone with grandmother…or something."

As he watched the other Merteuil sister exit Sebastian asked, "Why'd you do that?"

"I don't want anything for him," she muttered. "Gives me an excuse to get rid of them."

Just as she had predicted, Kathryn's father left two weeks after Annabelle Valmont died. During the whole time Sebastian never saw her shed one tear over it. Instead she treated the whole situation the same as she would losing an old pair of shoes. Sebastian often wondered how much of it was an act. He sometimes thought about asking her if she missed him but always stopped himself. She didn't want to talk about him anymore than he wanted to discuss his mother.

"So," he sighed breezily, "Are you really that ashamed of me you're willing to bribe Binks?"

"Of course," she replied simply causing Sebastian to smile. Straightening her hair back into place she sighed, "I better get back down there before mother sends a search party."

Reaching out he grabbed her wrist and held her down. "Stay"

Kathryn looked down at him and that slight twitter in her stomach, the one that had been happening lately whenever he looked at her a certain way, stopped her from moving. Once again she willed it away, as she always did and didn't think about what it meant.

Laying down beside him she rested her head on his shoulder. "Fine, but only for ten minutes."

- to be continued (Please Review)


End file.
